Yesterday I went to a baptism of a girl that is in my primary. She was the only one in my ward that was being baptized that day and so she got to pick out everything that she wanted to do for her baptism. The speakers, the songs, who said the prayers, who played the piano. It was to be her very own, very special baptism. She picked her oldest sister to give a talk on baptism who did a great job and made a great visual on washing a penny in water or vinegar and salt. Then her dad filled in for what I can only guess was a relative that couldn’t make it for a talk on the Holy Ghost. This is the point where Kenaley found her super sonic scream and we quickly exited the room to try to save what ear drums we could. I’m sure it was great because her dad is a great guy. Then this very excited girl was brought to the font where she was baptized by her dad and then after a little break was blessed with the Holy Ghost to be her companion. Testimonies were said, then a song sung and I was closing with Prayer- an honor that I am always happy (but nervous) to do.
It was a great day. The sweet little girl was so cheerful and pleased with her marvelous day, and you could see it with the ear to ear smile on her face.
I was deeply touched by the baptism too. But not for any reason that you would think.
I will start with a little pre- story.
The first week that I was called to be Primary President, I nicknamed this little girl’s 11 year old sister “Mini-Voice” She is the most beautiful soft spoken girl that I have ever or will ever meet. She is painfully shy and doesn’t even usually like to come up and help during singing or sharing time. But this girl is so brilliant and beautiful and has this remarkable spirit that follows her. I am not sure where the shyness comes from but it is ever present. Mini-voice is so quiet, that one day when she was asked to give a talk in primary (not sure who or how she was convinced to do such a thing) even with the microphone on, it was impossible to hear her sweet voice. But she did it and her talk was great- exactly the kind of talk that we hope for every week.
Few weeks followed and Mini-Voice’s mom informed me at a church activity that she was taking piano lessons and was just starting to learn hymns. She asked me if maybe Mini-Voice could play the reverence music when the junior primary leaves for class. I was so excited to let her shine in her very talented way and excitedly said she would be greatly appreciated to do such a thing. In the weeks that followed, I forgot about the request until my fantastic chorister reminded me, just before the junior kids were to leave. Stupidly, I invited Mini-Voice to come up and play if she would like to in front of the entire primary. She declined while turning five shades of red. I think I ruined the opportunity for her because then everyone knew and she was embarrassed.
Her mom later asked me if she could possibly play the reverence music for her sister’s upcoming baptism and that is when I informed her that it was to be her sister’s very own baptism and Mini-Voice could play the piano for the entire baptism if she wanted to. Mini-voice was standing with her mom and her countenance went beautiful shy girl to happy beautiful shy girl. I was so happy that she would have an opportunity to show off her talent, something that she was clearly proud of, and what a special day to share it- her younger sister’s baptism. What a great thing to be able to share with your sister.
The day came, I saw Mini-Voice in the hall just before the baptism and she looked like the same happy, beautiful, shy girl that was told she could play at her sisters baptism. I was excited for her and excited for her sister, and nervous about my restless 1 year old accompanying me. And the prayer that I was to say at the close of the baptism.
She started playing while people were coming in, and she was doing remarkable. I was envisioning a future primary pianist. Because primary only takes the best piano player- do you have any idea how fast they request to sing ‘head shoulders knees and toes’? Only the best can keep up with such demanding kids. Bishop started the meeting and Mini-Voice was on the spot.
‘The Fourth Article Of Faith’ was the song that was chosen. It was going great. She was playing, we were singing.
Then all the sudden, there was no more playing, just singing. The song was finished and the prayer was said. Then Mini-Voice emerged from behind the piano. Tearful and red. Visibly disappointed. My heart sank and tears filled my eyes for my sweet Mini-Voice. I was so excited for her and she was so excited for her. But something- a missed beat or fumbled note- nothing that I noticed- had shattered this sweet girl’s confidence. She hid in the shoulder of her mom for the duration of the talks and then hid in the bathroom, missing her sister’s baptism. She finally came out for the confirmation but hid in the back row in the loving shadow of her mom.
I felt so devastated for her. Not that the song was unaccompanied, but because this talent that she was so excited to share was now wavering on embarrassment.
Not sure if it was intentional or not, but a very seasoned piano player that was attending the baptism, filled in for the closing song and while she was playing the first little bit of the song, started off in the wrong octave- a very noticeable thing. I was grateful for this. It was almost as though it was to show Mini-Voice that even a very seasoned player can get fingers and keys misplaced.
I prayed, and then I felt very inspired to go and let Mini-Voice know how proud I was of her. I snuck to the back row and put my arm around her and told her that she did great and even Sister-Seasoned-Piano-Player fumbled a little bit. I was proud of her. She cried even more and wouldn’t even lift her head from her shielding hands. I had clearly made it worse.
It must come with the calling of Primary President that any and all of the kids that are in your primary become yours and you get that motherly love and protective instinct to kiss all the ouchies away. I get teary and huggy to any of the sweet spirits that are sad in my primary room and feel the need to let everyone of those kids know how special they are to me. I feel that way, but
little Mini-Voice just wanted the whole thing to go away, and I didn’t. Darn Primary/Motherly instinct…ouchy was still there and even worse now.
I left the church and returned home to the chaotic yard sale that was at my house.
But it was on my mind all day. My shattered Mini-Voices fragile confidence. Kept thinking of any possible thing that I could do that would help her. Cookies? A note? A visit? Nothing.
Thought about it as I was getting ready for church this morning. Still no answer.
Then I got to church and felt very inspired that I should bear my testimony about the courage that she showed. I felt like this was
the answer for her. But I second guessed myself that it would be bringing it up again and the few ward members that were there and witnessed it would then be multiplied by everyone in the congregation knowing. Plus, there were these three children of my own that had the inability to sit still and remain quiet and my husband was absent for the day. And I have this problem of having my mouth moving faster than my brain does and often times when I feel intimidated by something- mainly speaking in public- I tend to make no sense and end up embarrassing myself. I talked myself out of it and the feeling passed and the meeting ended.
I failed to act on the Spirit that was clearly telling me that Mini-Voice needed me to overcome my fears and speak up.
I am not a shy person (yeah, I know that is a –‘the sky is blue’ statement.) but Mini-Voice is. She overcame her fear. She had the
courage to play in front of a room of people when she had only been playing for a short time. I was not even courageous enough to stand and talk. She was like a Nephi. Doing the hard stuff and having faith that she could do it. She showed up. She did great. Then it got to be too much and the shyness overcame the courage.
I cannot take back the fact that I was not courageous for Mini-Voice today at church. I let my shyness overcome my courage too, but normally my courage far outweighs my shyness. I wish that I had acted on it and I know that if I had I could have been a vessel for my Heavenly Father and The Spirit would have directed me to say exactly what Mini-Voice needed to hear.
All I can think to say now is that Mini-Voice has FAR more courage than I ever will. I can only hope that one day I can be more like she is. Courageous and brilliant and beautiful.
Mini-Voice you are what I strive to be. There is more courage in you than I have in my pinky finger. I am proud of you and the enormous courage that you show. I really hope that you will continue to be courageous and one day when you are playing at Carnegie Hall, you will look back at yesterday and be thankful that you showed the courage to play the piano for your sister.
You. Did. Fantastic.
It was a great day. The sweet little girl was so cheerful and pleased with her marvelous day, and you could see it with the ear to ear smile on her face.
I was deeply touched by the baptism too. But not for any reason that you would think.
I will start with a little pre- story.
The first week that I was called to be Primary President, I nicknamed this little girl’s 11 year old sister “Mini-Voice” She is the most beautiful soft spoken girl that I have ever or will ever meet. She is painfully shy and doesn’t even usually like to come up and help during singing or sharing time. But this girl is so brilliant and beautiful and has this remarkable spirit that follows her. I am not sure where the shyness comes from but it is ever present. Mini-voice is so quiet, that one day when she was asked to give a talk in primary (not sure who or how she was convinced to do such a thing) even with the microphone on, it was impossible to hear her sweet voice. But she did it and her talk was great- exactly the kind of talk that we hope for every week.
Few weeks followed and Mini-Voice’s mom informed me at a church activity that she was taking piano lessons and was just starting to learn hymns. She asked me if maybe Mini-Voice could play the reverence music when the junior primary leaves for class. I was so excited to let her shine in her very talented way and excitedly said she would be greatly appreciated to do such a thing. In the weeks that followed, I forgot about the request until my fantastic chorister reminded me, just before the junior kids were to leave. Stupidly, I invited Mini-Voice to come up and play if she would like to in front of the entire primary. She declined while turning five shades of red. I think I ruined the opportunity for her because then everyone knew and she was embarrassed.
Her mom later asked me if she could possibly play the reverence music for her sister’s upcoming baptism and that is when I informed her that it was to be her sister’s very own baptism and Mini-Voice could play the piano for the entire baptism if she wanted to. Mini-voice was standing with her mom and her countenance went beautiful shy girl to happy beautiful shy girl. I was so happy that she would have an opportunity to show off her talent, something that she was clearly proud of, and what a special day to share it- her younger sister’s baptism. What a great thing to be able to share with your sister.
The day came, I saw Mini-Voice in the hall just before the baptism and she looked like the same happy, beautiful, shy girl that was told she could play at her sisters baptism. I was excited for her and excited for her sister, and nervous about my restless 1 year old accompanying me. And the prayer that I was to say at the close of the baptism.
She started playing while people were coming in, and she was doing remarkable. I was envisioning a future primary pianist. Because primary only takes the best piano player- do you have any idea how fast they request to sing ‘head shoulders knees and toes’? Only the best can keep up with such demanding kids. Bishop started the meeting and Mini-Voice was on the spot.
‘The Fourth Article Of Faith’ was the song that was chosen. It was going great. She was playing, we were singing.
Then all the sudden, there was no more playing, just singing. The song was finished and the prayer was said. Then Mini-Voice emerged from behind the piano. Tearful and red. Visibly disappointed. My heart sank and tears filled my eyes for my sweet Mini-Voice. I was so excited for her and she was so excited for her. But something- a missed beat or fumbled note- nothing that I noticed- had shattered this sweet girl’s confidence. She hid in the shoulder of her mom for the duration of the talks and then hid in the bathroom, missing her sister’s baptism. She finally came out for the confirmation but hid in the back row in the loving shadow of her mom.
I felt so devastated for her. Not that the song was unaccompanied, but because this talent that she was so excited to share was now wavering on embarrassment.
Not sure if it was intentional or not, but a very seasoned piano player that was attending the baptism, filled in for the closing song and while she was playing the first little bit of the song, started off in the wrong octave- a very noticeable thing. I was grateful for this. It was almost as though it was to show Mini-Voice that even a very seasoned player can get fingers and keys misplaced.
I prayed, and then I felt very inspired to go and let Mini-Voice know how proud I was of her. I snuck to the back row and put my arm around her and told her that she did great and even Sister-Seasoned-Piano-Player fumbled a little bit. I was proud of her. She cried even more and wouldn’t even lift her head from her shielding hands. I had clearly made it worse.
It must come with the calling of Primary President that any and all of the kids that are in your primary become yours and you get that motherly love and protective instinct to kiss all the ouchies away. I get teary and huggy to any of the sweet spirits that are sad in my primary room and feel the need to let everyone of those kids know how special they are to me. I feel that way, but
little Mini-Voice just wanted the whole thing to go away, and I didn’t. Darn Primary/Motherly instinct…ouchy was still there and even worse now.
I left the church and returned home to the chaotic yard sale that was at my house.
But it was on my mind all day. My shattered Mini-Voices fragile confidence. Kept thinking of any possible thing that I could do that would help her. Cookies? A note? A visit? Nothing.
Thought about it as I was getting ready for church this morning. Still no answer.
Then I got to church and felt very inspired that I should bear my testimony about the courage that she showed. I felt like this was
the answer for her. But I second guessed myself that it would be bringing it up again and the few ward members that were there and witnessed it would then be multiplied by everyone in the congregation knowing. Plus, there were these three children of my own that had the inability to sit still and remain quiet and my husband was absent for the day. And I have this problem of having my mouth moving faster than my brain does and often times when I feel intimidated by something- mainly speaking in public- I tend to make no sense and end up embarrassing myself. I talked myself out of it and the feeling passed and the meeting ended.
I failed to act on the Spirit that was clearly telling me that Mini-Voice needed me to overcome my fears and speak up.
I am not a shy person (yeah, I know that is a –‘the sky is blue’ statement.) but Mini-Voice is. She overcame her fear. She had the
courage to play in front of a room of people when she had only been playing for a short time. I was not even courageous enough to stand and talk. She was like a Nephi. Doing the hard stuff and having faith that she could do it. She showed up. She did great. Then it got to be too much and the shyness overcame the courage.
I cannot take back the fact that I was not courageous for Mini-Voice today at church. I let my shyness overcome my courage too, but normally my courage far outweighs my shyness. I wish that I had acted on it and I know that if I had I could have been a vessel for my Heavenly Father and The Spirit would have directed me to say exactly what Mini-Voice needed to hear.
All I can think to say now is that Mini-Voice has FAR more courage than I ever will. I can only hope that one day I can be more like she is. Courageous and brilliant and beautiful.
Mini-Voice you are what I strive to be. There is more courage in you than I have in my pinky finger. I am proud of you and the enormous courage that you show. I really hope that you will continue to be courageous and one day when you are playing at Carnegie Hall, you will look back at yesterday and be thankful that you showed the courage to play the piano for your sister.
You. Did. Fantastic.
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