I know, it has been far too long since we
spoke. I lost my blog mojo for a little bit. This post may explain
why.
THE NAUGHTY THINGS MY CHILDREN HAVE DONE:
(this week)
Anderson: King of
“if I have been bad, it is written all over my face.” He usually sports this
grin multiple times through out the day.
So, Sunday he ate a Lunchable for lunch because I was too exhausted from
the primary marathon that I run weekly to make them food and they were convinced that if they did not get
sustenance they would surely die. Starve and die. Inside this treasure of a
Lunchable was a mini water bottle
and Kool-aid pack that when poured
into the bottle makes what Anderson says is the best drink ever. He loves these
drinks and only picks out the Lunchables that have them.
The younglings eat their lunch and then I start the war that is getting
Kenaley to take a nap. Anderson takes his water bottle into the bathroom, I
assume to refill it with water and keep as his companion for the day. I get
distracted by the hitting and kicking and screaming that is in my lap and don’t
notice the extended period of time that it is taking the boy to refill the
bottle. He comes out just after I have laid the sleeping monster in her bed and,
hands behind his back, tells me- with the“I have been bad” face on that he is
bleeding. I ask where, and he shows me bright red hands that have a tropical
fruit scent to them. My brain instantly realizes that he tried to recreate the
drink that was in his Lunchable and took an unsweetened envelope of Kool-aid,
tried to dump it in his water bottle, spilled it all over and then tried to wipe
it up with his bare hands. I inform the very guilty looking 6 year old that , no
he is not bleeding and if I walk into the bathroom and see kool-aid all over it
when I just cleaned it, he is going to be a very sad and grounded boy. I ask him
“Do you want me to go look in the bathroom right now?”
And he says no and walks back into the bathroom to try to undo his mess.
I wait a good, long while before I go look and discover the catastrophe that
Kool-aid can do. I have marble counter tops in my bathroom, they are a swirly
white color. Sorry, I had white counter tops. They are now bright red, tropical
fruit smelling, but bright red. I scrubbed with bleach and all that that
happened was that the fruit smell turned to a bleachy-fruit smell. BUT THEN…. I
opened the toilet lid and discovered that the dude had decided to wipe what mess
he thought he could with toilet paper and dump it into the toilet. The mess that
he wiped up also contained the wrapper from the Kool-aid. My toilet was bright
red…and fruity smelling, which was kind of nice compared to the usual smell. I
grunted in that special mom grunt that says it all and got the toilet bowl
cleaner and brush and began scrubbing. Nothing was coming off. I was now the
owner of a bright red bathroom counter and a bright red toilet bowl. They both
smelled like bleachy fruit. (Side
note: since the incident the color has faded and is now a calmer pinkish white.
And the smell is gone.)
Logan: This boy has decided that he is not
9, but 19. Boy. Has. ‘Tude. And
lots of it. Enough that I am
seriously considering to change my mind about the cruelties of boarding school and am
looking into which one fits him best. His ‘tude does seem to have some humor,
which so far has saved his little but from being horribly bruised.
It goes like this: “Logan” I call to him. His answer is “No. No I will
not do that. Whatever it is I
won’t” So, me, being the witty mom
that I am answer back, “Oh, too bad I was going to give you your allowance. Oh
well I will keep it and spend it on chocolate that I plan on not sharing.” And
then I get the: “No, I was just kidding! I will do it!” And
then I say “Good, because I need you to take this diaper to the garbage.” And
then there is the 9 year old grunt that says it all. So there is that part of the ‘tude. And then there is
the part that he has decided that his brother and mother are bottom feeders and
he will tease, torment and copy us all day long. Everyday of the week. It is the
most annoying part of the 9/19 year old. I cannot stand copying. So I say
something like. “I made out with daddy last night!” and he starts to say it then
quickly laughs and covers his mouth and learns his lesson. I told you I was
witty. The boy is just too cool for
his own shoes. He told me that the other
day.
MISS KENALEY: Oh, baby girl. We really
should have named you David. Because there is a book series about the naughty
things that David does that is so similar to the naughty things that you do. Let
me start with Monday: Monday she was caught washing her play dishes in the
toilet (that was still red at this point) I grabbed her and scrubbed her little
hands with every drop of soap that I owned and I threw the dishes in the
garbage, while she screamed at me the entire time“Its my turn!!!” then a few
hours later I caught her doing it again. Tuesday: She decided that she was going
to graduate from her kitchen to my kitchen and I caught her taking out my
Tupperware containers one by one and putting dog food in each and every one of
them. I own about 50 containers. We did an entire wash load of them that day.
Wednesday: This one is good. Brothers were supposed to be watching her outside
while I watered and weeded the garden. I would periodically ask where she was to
the little boys and they would yell back the answer. On this particular occasion
I yelled and there was no answer for a moment, then there was “MOM!!! We need
help!!” I went running in their direction and found my baby daughter in the
chicken coop picking up every piece of chicken dropping and putting it into the
garbage next to the coop. I have to give her a gold star for taking initiative
and cleaning up after the Bob’s but picking it up by hand was a little too much
for me. Her hands were again scrubbed with all the soap that I had purchased to
replace the toilet incident scrubbing. Thursday: I may have mentioned that
Kenaley has a thing for showers and she demands that she enter every shower that
is run in the house no matter what time, who is in there or how many she has
taken that day. Well, apparently she was feeling that she had not met her clean
quota for the day and she got Anderson’s juice cup of the table, filled it with
the water from the dog’s bowl and carried it into the bathroom and dumped it
into the tub. She did it a few times and then got into the bathtub fully clothed
and played in her remnants of water, she hasn’t figured out the drain thing yet.
Luckily. It wasn’t until she
started screaming “I stuck” that we found her in the bath, wet and smelling like
dog water. Then we saw the cup and the trail of spilled water and figured the
whole thing out. She
got to take a shower for this one. Friday: I was on my game this day. I had
trailed that girl so good and we had made it to about 6 pm this day with no
naughties from the wee one. Then I told daddy to watch her while I made dinner.
Mistake #1. He played with her for a few minutes and then let her loose. Somehow
she got a hold of a blue sharpie marker and decided that the fridge and the wall
next to the fridge needed a splash of color. So she took it upon herself to
color all over them. I turned around from cooking to see the artist and her
masterpiece. I yell “NO KENA!” and she says: “look, its pretty!”
FYI: magic eraser doesn’t work as well as it says it does. The
combination of soft scrub and magic eraser does the trick to get sharpie marker
off fridges and walls.
SEE! See, this is what I have to do
everyday. This is why I have no blog mojo. Would you have blog mojo?? Would you
have mojo at all?
That’s
what I thought
spoke. I lost my blog mojo for a little bit. This post may explain
why.
THE NAUGHTY THINGS MY CHILDREN HAVE DONE:
(this week)
Anderson: King of
“if I have been bad, it is written all over my face.” He usually sports this
grin multiple times through out the day.
So, Sunday he ate a Lunchable for lunch because I was too exhausted from
the primary marathon that I run weekly to make them food and they were convinced that if they did not get
sustenance they would surely die. Starve and die. Inside this treasure of a
Lunchable was a mini water bottle
and Kool-aid pack that when poured
into the bottle makes what Anderson says is the best drink ever. He loves these
drinks and only picks out the Lunchables that have them.
The younglings eat their lunch and then I start the war that is getting
Kenaley to take a nap. Anderson takes his water bottle into the bathroom, I
assume to refill it with water and keep as his companion for the day. I get
distracted by the hitting and kicking and screaming that is in my lap and don’t
notice the extended period of time that it is taking the boy to refill the
bottle. He comes out just after I have laid the sleeping monster in her bed and,
hands behind his back, tells me- with the“I have been bad” face on that he is
bleeding. I ask where, and he shows me bright red hands that have a tropical
fruit scent to them. My brain instantly realizes that he tried to recreate the
drink that was in his Lunchable and took an unsweetened envelope of Kool-aid,
tried to dump it in his water bottle, spilled it all over and then tried to wipe
it up with his bare hands. I inform the very guilty looking 6 year old that , no
he is not bleeding and if I walk into the bathroom and see kool-aid all over it
when I just cleaned it, he is going to be a very sad and grounded boy. I ask him
“Do you want me to go look in the bathroom right now?”
And he says no and walks back into the bathroom to try to undo his mess.
I wait a good, long while before I go look and discover the catastrophe that
Kool-aid can do. I have marble counter tops in my bathroom, they are a swirly
white color. Sorry, I had white counter tops. They are now bright red, tropical
fruit smelling, but bright red. I scrubbed with bleach and all that that
happened was that the fruit smell turned to a bleachy-fruit smell. BUT THEN…. I
opened the toilet lid and discovered that the dude had decided to wipe what mess
he thought he could with toilet paper and dump it into the toilet. The mess that
he wiped up also contained the wrapper from the Kool-aid. My toilet was bright
red…and fruity smelling, which was kind of nice compared to the usual smell. I
grunted in that special mom grunt that says it all and got the toilet bowl
cleaner and brush and began scrubbing. Nothing was coming off. I was now the
owner of a bright red bathroom counter and a bright red toilet bowl. They both
smelled like bleachy fruit. (Side
note: since the incident the color has faded and is now a calmer pinkish white.
And the smell is gone.)
Logan: This boy has decided that he is not
9, but 19. Boy. Has. ‘Tude. And
lots of it. Enough that I am
seriously considering to change my mind about the cruelties of boarding school and am
looking into which one fits him best. His ‘tude does seem to have some humor,
which so far has saved his little but from being horribly bruised.
It goes like this: “Logan” I call to him. His answer is “No. No I will
not do that. Whatever it is I
won’t” So, me, being the witty mom
that I am answer back, “Oh, too bad I was going to give you your allowance. Oh
well I will keep it and spend it on chocolate that I plan on not sharing.” And
then I get the: “No, I was just kidding! I will do it!” And
then I say “Good, because I need you to take this diaper to the garbage.” And
then there is the 9 year old grunt that says it all. So there is that part of the ‘tude. And then there is
the part that he has decided that his brother and mother are bottom feeders and
he will tease, torment and copy us all day long. Everyday of the week. It is the
most annoying part of the 9/19 year old. I cannot stand copying. So I say
something like. “I made out with daddy last night!” and he starts to say it then
quickly laughs and covers his mouth and learns his lesson. I told you I was
witty. The boy is just too cool for
his own shoes. He told me that the other
day.
MISS KENALEY: Oh, baby girl. We really
should have named you David. Because there is a book series about the naughty
things that David does that is so similar to the naughty things that you do. Let
me start with Monday: Monday she was caught washing her play dishes in the
toilet (that was still red at this point) I grabbed her and scrubbed her little
hands with every drop of soap that I owned and I threw the dishes in the
garbage, while she screamed at me the entire time“Its my turn!!!” then a few
hours later I caught her doing it again. Tuesday: She decided that she was going
to graduate from her kitchen to my kitchen and I caught her taking out my
Tupperware containers one by one and putting dog food in each and every one of
them. I own about 50 containers. We did an entire wash load of them that day.
Wednesday: This one is good. Brothers were supposed to be watching her outside
while I watered and weeded the garden. I would periodically ask where she was to
the little boys and they would yell back the answer. On this particular occasion
I yelled and there was no answer for a moment, then there was “MOM!!! We need
help!!” I went running in their direction and found my baby daughter in the
chicken coop picking up every piece of chicken dropping and putting it into the
garbage next to the coop. I have to give her a gold star for taking initiative
and cleaning up after the Bob’s but picking it up by hand was a little too much
for me. Her hands were again scrubbed with all the soap that I had purchased to
replace the toilet incident scrubbing. Thursday: I may have mentioned that
Kenaley has a thing for showers and she demands that she enter every shower that
is run in the house no matter what time, who is in there or how many she has
taken that day. Well, apparently she was feeling that she had not met her clean
quota for the day and she got Anderson’s juice cup of the table, filled it with
the water from the dog’s bowl and carried it into the bathroom and dumped it
into the tub. She did it a few times and then got into the bathtub fully clothed
and played in her remnants of water, she hasn’t figured out the drain thing yet.
Luckily. It wasn’t until she
started screaming “I stuck” that we found her in the bath, wet and smelling like
dog water. Then we saw the cup and the trail of spilled water and figured the
whole thing out. She
got to take a shower for this one. Friday: I was on my game this day. I had
trailed that girl so good and we had made it to about 6 pm this day with no
naughties from the wee one. Then I told daddy to watch her while I made dinner.
Mistake #1. He played with her for a few minutes and then let her loose. Somehow
she got a hold of a blue sharpie marker and decided that the fridge and the wall
next to the fridge needed a splash of color. So she took it upon herself to
color all over them. I turned around from cooking to see the artist and her
masterpiece. I yell “NO KENA!” and she says: “look, its pretty!”
FYI: magic eraser doesn’t work as well as it says it does. The
combination of soft scrub and magic eraser does the trick to get sharpie marker
off fridges and walls.
SEE! See, this is what I have to do
everyday. This is why I have no blog mojo. Would you have blog mojo?? Would you
have mojo at all?
That’s
what I thought
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